Should you give them a second chance? Find out as our dating and relationship experts here at South Jersey Matchmakers review 10 things that will help you decide whether or not they’re worthy of a second chance.
How do you know when your partner truly deserves a second chance or when it’s time to let them go and get away from them for good? Today, our New Jersey matchmaking experts will review the top 10 signs that will help you make the right decision.
1. You’ve Been Dating for a Long Time
Although time together in a relationship does not excuse a sin, if this is the first time your boyfriend has messed up and you’ve been dating for a very long time, then it might be worth it to consider giving him a second chance. However, if you boyfriend has messed up really bad and the two of you have only been dating for a handful of weeks, then you should be careful because this is not the start of a good relationship and it can tell you what is to come ahead.
2. Look at the Past
If you could figure out whether forgiving your boyfriend would make things well again, it will make deciding whether or not to forgive him a lot easier. However, we don’t have a time machine, so how are you supposed to know if they will mess up another time around? Well, the truth is, you don’t really know. However, looking back at the past can help you predict the future and figure out whether or not your boyfriend will sin again. If he has never messed up before, then perhaps (depending on what he’s done) you can try to forgive and give him another chance.
3. They Make You Happy Most of the Time
Giving your boyfriend a second chance will take a lot of work, so if you are debating whether to give him a second opportunity in the relationship, you need to figure out whether or not he’s worthy of all the efforts it’s going to take. If you have not been happy with your boyfriend, then chances are you’re better off without him. Yet, if he does make you happy at least 80% of the time, then he should have a second chance.
4. Why Things Happened
When you find out your boyfriend has done something, ask yourself why it happened. Does he know how you feel about what happened? Women sometimes think that men can read their minds, but trust us, they cannot. Just like you cannot read his, he cannot read yours. Obviously you don’t have to state that you want him to be faithful to you, but for those who are clueless, a conversation can go a long way.
5. Your Friends & Family Think You Should Give Him a 2nd Chance
Your friends and family are usually the biggest critics of your boyfriend, so listening to their advice can help you work out whether or not you should give him a second chance. Ask them for their opinions and listen to what they have to say. If they give him a pass and you agree with their thoughts, then it might be worth it to forgive him and see where the relationship goes from here.
6. Take a Break & Evaluate His Behaviors
After someone has hurt you or lied to you, it can be difficult to figure out whether or not this person actually cares about you. If you are uncertain about his true feelings for you, take a relationship break and spend some time apart. Not only will this break help prevent you from being tricked into forgiving him if he gives you the puppy eyes, but it this break will help you figure out how he truly feels about you. If he goes out with other women and goes back to his single lifestyle, then you know he is not worthy of a second chance. On the other hand, if he puts his time and energy into changing the way he is and shows you he’s becoming a better person, then you should give him a second chance.
7. Switch Things Around
If you’re struggling to figure out whether or not you should give your boyfriend a second chance, why don’t you switch things around and put yourself in his predicament. Would you expect him to forgive you? If the answer is yes, then take this as a sign you can give him a second chance. By doing this little exercise, our New Jersey matchmaking experts know it will help you figure out whether or not he can stick around or not.
8. He Has Shown Efforts to Make It Up to You
In the weeks after your boyfriend has done something to you, pay close attention to the way he behaves. Has he made any extra efforts in trying to show you that he’s sorry, or is he continuing on like nothing ever happened? If your boyfriend is genuinely sorry for the things he’s done, then, yes, go ahead and forgive him. However, you need to remember that forgiveness is a privilege he needs to earn.
9. Ask Yourself Why You Cannot Forgive Him
Think about why you cannot forgive him. If you are resistant to the thought of forgiving him, it might be because you have a different attitude towards forgiveness. For many people, forgiveness is a sign of weakness. But here at South Jersey Matchmakers, we know that forgiving someone when they have messed up is not weak and it doesn’t make you look like a weak person. Try to change your attitude towards forgiveness by understanding that some people deserve a second chance sometimes.
10. What to Do Next
One of the easiest and simple things you can do to figure out whether or not your boyfriend deserves a second chance or if it’s time to wave goodbye is to think about what happens next. If you’re able to forgive your boyfriend, then you need to honestly say that you can put aside the things that have happened and not judge him anymore for any of his past behaviors. If you cannot do this, then you cannot give your boyfriend a second chance.
Forgiveness takes time. Review this helpful list from our New Jersey matchmaking experts and hopefully it will help you make your decision.
If what your boyfriend did is unforgiveable and you’re ready to meet someone worthy of your love, contact our matchmaking professionals to set up a consultation today. Here at South Jersey Matchmakers, we’ll only introduce you to quality men who are compatible and ready to settle down. Don’t wait another day, let us transform your love life today!
