South Jersey Matchmaking Service | Why Settling Never Works

By South Jersey Matchmakers
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In our world today – the age of developing ambitions, pursuing big dreams and aspiring to confidence and self-love – the word settling gets tossed around. Simply put, when someone talks about settling, they mean accepting conditions that are less than perfect, or less than what they desire. This can apply to careers and lifestyles but is perhaps most often talked about in relationships.

Not to be confused with settling down and starting a family, just settling is nine times out of ten seen as a bad thing; if someone accuses you of settling in your relationship, they’re talking about you staying with a partner that is not right for you.

Those who believe having anything at all is better than having nothing might wonder what the big deal really is, but there are many good reasons you should think twice about settling for someone in your romantic life.

Today, our South Jersey matchmaking service is going to show you why settling in a relationship never works.

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1. You’re missing out on being with someone you really love.

In many cases, most people who settle don’t love their partner the same way happy couples do. They might love them as a friend, or love the way their partner handles the responsibilities, but they don’t feel that passionate love that makes them happy. So one of the biggest reasons you should never settle is because you’re settling with someone you really don’t love and are missing out all the good parts of being in a relationship with someone that is based on pure love and passion.

The benefits of true love are so many, but off the top of our heads, you’d be missing out on someone who can be your side through the ups and downs, someone who understands you on every level, and someone who brings out the best in you.

2. You’ll never stop searching for what you really want.

Some people who settle in relationships think that what they’re doing will lead to happiness because they’ll one day get close to their partner. While it’s true that love does grow over time, it’s also true that when you want something with all your heart, you will probably always want it. So if you commit yourself over a long period of time to someone who you are not really in love with, chances are you’ll be frustrated you did and those feelings won’t go away.

It’s a much better idea to be honest with yourself and what you want in a relationship. Telling yourself your wants and desires will change over time to justify your present unhappiness is risky business.

3. People never change.

Another big mistake people make is believing that settling will lead to happiness because their partner will change one day. They tell themselves that the other person can transform and become the ideal partner one day. Though life would be easier if we could make people change into what we want them to be, it doesn’t usually happen that way.

It’s pretty unlikely that your partner can change into something you want.  Sure, people do change over time, some to great extent. But it’s wishful thinking to assume you can change your partner’s character and change them enough that you feel completely in love with them.

4. You could end up resenting them.

You better believe settling can lead to resentment. Maybe not during the early stages of the relationship, but over time, your unhappiness could end up turning very sour. It’s totally unfair, but many people who settle can harbor negative feelings towards their partner. Months or even years of commitment, effort and sacrifice, and all the things that go into making a relationship work for someone that doesn’t make you happy will do that to you.

While many people can end up resenting their partners, many more could end up hating themselves. After all, if it was your decision to be with them, it’s possible you’ll end up hating yourself for wasting all that time with them.

No matter how discouraging your romantic life may seem, never settle for less than you deserve. Being in a relationship that’s not right for you, even if your partner is a great catch (just not for you), can lead to resentment, self-loathing, and esteem issues. Plus, you’re missing out on the real deal in love.

If you’re ready to start meeting quality singles who have the potential to be perfect for you, contact the best South Jersey matchmaking service today and let our professional matchmakers do the matching for you! To reserve your FREE (90-minute) matchmaking consultation, simply fill out the confidential form at the top of the page today.

 

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