Flirting is very subjective. What one person thinks is harmless could be viewed as over the top and intolerable by someone else. For some, a little flirting is okay, while others see it as grounds for divorce. It all boils down to someone’s upbringing, social class, religion, and culture. Everything plays an important factor in how people view flirting, which is why everyone views flirting differently.
If you are one of those people who doesn’t like their partner to flirt, then this article from our dating experts here at South Jersey Matchmakers is for you!
Flirting Can Damage a Relationship
Flirting can definitely lead to many problems, one of them being infidelity. The question is, when is it too much? When is it not acceptable?
Even if harm is not done, flirting can definitely cause tension in a relationship. And the only way to tackle this issue with your partner is to tackle it head on. But how do you tackle it? What do you say to a partner who just doesn’t seem to recognize the problem with their flirting?
Don’t worry, readers—our dating and relationship experts here at South Jersey Matchmakers have composed a guide for handling a partner who is overly flirtatious. It’s up to you to choose whatever fits your situation best.
1. Talk Things Out
Talking about a problem in a relationship is never a bad thing, after all, communication is the only way to solve problems before they escalate. So if your better half is upsetting you by frequently flirting, then you need to have a chat with them and fix the problem at hand. Your partner might not even realize what they’re doing is wrong or maybe they haven’t noticed it’s upsetting you.
2. Do It to Them
This tactic requires you to get down and dirty. If your partner is constantly flirting and you’ve already had a talk with them, then show them what it feels like and beat them at their own game. Be warned, though, it could backfire on you.
3. Separate from Them
You could decide that you’ve had enough and you’re not going to put up with your partner’s flirtatious behaviors anymore. If this is the case, separation is the only option available. Tell them that you’ve had enough of their flirting and that they’ve successfully ignored every one of your attempts to get them to stop. Let them know you have no other options now and it’s time for you to walk away from them.
When Does Flirting Become Cheating?
1. When It’s Secretive
Is your partner deleting all their emails and text messages from their phone? Then, that’s a red flag for you. Obviously if they’re deleting them, it’s because they’re hiding something and don’t want you to figure it out.
2. It Has a Sexual Purpose
This isn’t always obvious, but of course flirting could lead to sex. If you notice that your partner is texting with a sexual tone, then your partner is in dangerous waters of having an affair… If they’re not already.
3. If They’re Spending a Lot of Time Talking About This Person
Does your partner talk about the person they flirt with? Do they mention their name here and there? Are they always communicating with them via social media? Then, you know your partner is crossing the line.
4. When They Are Rationalizing
She’s just a friend… He’s a good guy… These are statements people tell themselves when they believe they’re doing innocent flirting or trying to cover up their guilt. But beware, your partner is trying desperately to justify their actions by saying they’re just a friend.
5. If You Don’t Like It
Anything you don’t like in your relationship, and anything that your partner would not tolerate from you, is considered cheating. They are clearly having an emotional relationship with this person and you need to decide what you’re going to do.
6. If Your Friends Have Told You Their Concerns
Pay attention to what your friends say about your partner’s interactions with the opposite sex. Do they tell you that your partner is a flirt? Friends and family members are often the first people to notice a flirty partner, so do not brush them off.
7. Their Intentions Are Wrong
Does your partner flirt with the opposite sex to boost their ego? Do they do it because it makes them feel good? Some people say that flirting comes naturally to them instead of saying they have the wrong intentions. Your partner should only flirt with you, not anyone else. There are plenty of ways to boost one’s self-esteem and flirting with the opposite sex isn’t one of them.
Some people might say that a little playful flirting here and there outside of the relationship is harmless, but if your partner has a history of cheating or is a known flirt, you’re going to have to put an end to it before it drives you insane and destroys the relationship you have together.
Flirting doesn’t have to signal the end of a relationship, but it definitely means something must be addressed. If you wish to progress with the relationship, then you’re going to have to have a serious discussion with your partner, and if they don’t want to change their ways, you already know what to do.
Are you having troubles meeting someone who is commitment-minded and ready to settle down? Contact our dating experts here at South Jersey Matchmakers and let us help you meet quality singles who are a good fit for you.
