Just how healthy is your relationship? Find out if it’s as solid as you think it is as the dating and matchmaking experts from South Jersey Matchmakers reveal 7 insidious ways you could be causing harm to your relationship!
Trust is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, so if you want your relationship to last, don’t lie to your partner and don’t ever cheat on them. Sure, a little white lie here and there to avoid hurting your partner, is acceptable, but believe us when we tell you that those little white lies can add up and come back to haunt you. Lying to your partner will not only breach the trust you both have in one another, but it will also make your partner lose respect for you. To put it simply, the relationship will be sabotaged. Lying isn’t just not telling the truth, it’s also keeping away certain facts or letting your partner assume something that is not really true. This is just one thing many people unknowingly do that brings harm to a relationship. To find out more things you could be doing to sabotage your relationship, read on!
Today, our professional Cherry Hill matchmaking experts here at South Jersey Matchmakers will review 7 ways many people unknowingly sabotage their relationship.
1. Not Having any Trust
The flipside of lying is not trusting your partner. Of course everyone has their own insecurities and fears, but it’s important to get them checked out and not become a person who is too controlling of their partner. If you act on your fears, accuse your partner of something, check up on them, or constantly question them, you will have the opposite effect of what you are after. Your fear that your partner will leave you will become a reality if you keep doing what you’re doing. Not having any trust in them is going to end up pushing them away.
When fears and jealousies come into your mind, call a close friend and let them know what’s going on before you jump to conclusions. Sometimes, talking to a friend and getting things out can help put those fears and jealous feelings at bay.
2. Insulting & Belittling Them
Belittling and insulting hurts. You might think you are not so critical and that you love and respect your partner, but what you might be doing is the opposite. Be aware of the small subtle criticisms you give them because our Cherry Hill matchmakers know it will have a huge impact on your relationship. Little statements like, “Here, let me know do this. I do it better,” or, “I make this meal better,” can really destroy your partner’s self-confidence. Criticism without praise and appreciation will kill your partner’s feelings, and it will kill the relationship too. If all your partner hears from you is constant criticism and that they are not good enough, they’re going to get exhausted and leave the relationship.
3. Always Having to Be Right
Someone once said, would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? Here at South Jersey Matchmakers, we know it’s not always best to be right, especially when it comes to a loving relationship. If you are one of those people who needs everyone to agree with them or to admit that you’re right, stop and take a look at yourself in the mirror. Often times, this behavior stems from having low self-esteem.
Oh, and remember the difference between facts and opinions. Is what you think you’re right about just your opinion? The more you’re able to see things from your partner’s point of view, the more chances you have at maintaining a successful relationship.
4. Not Having Intimacy
Keeping the passion alive is essential to a happy and healthy long term relationship. The lack of sex is the number one problem that causes many relationships to fail. When sex is out of the equation, the relationship will suffer.
5. Being Too Selfish
Here is what you need to understand. It’s either you put yourself first or you put the relationship first. If you are able to put the relationship first, our Cherry Hill matchmakers know you’ll be heading for success. Putting your relationship first doesn’t mean you’re putting yourself aside, nor does it mean that you are putting your partner’s needs and desires above yours. What putting your relationship first means is approaching life decisions with questions like “What effect will this have on us?”
Having your friends come over for a BBQ, drinking until the wee hours of the night, and getting annihilated drunk (all while knowing that the party wasn’t welcomed by your partner) is selfish. If you’re always making decisions without considering your partner’s input, then your relationship will undoubtedly suffer.
We know that a lot of people are not ready for the type of commitment that being in a relationship involves. You might be at the stage in your life where your career might be your number one priority, and that’s fine. There is nothing wrong with being selfish at certain points of your life. You just need to realize what impact things will have on your relationship. Often times, couples will agree that they must sacrifice their careers or school in order to maintain a healthy relationship together.
6. You Put Other Things before Your Relationship
What you fail to acknowledge will eventually come crashing down. A relationship, just like any other living thing, needs constant nurturing and care if you want it to thrive and survive. If you want your relationship to be successful, you must constantly go out on dates just like you did at the early stages of your relationship. Have quality conversations together where there isn’t any whining, bickering, or complaining. If you want to maintain a happy and healthy relationship, you must connect with your partner on a deeper level.
7. Focusing on the Wrong Things
Does this sound familiar? You focus more on the things that are wrong rather than what’s right. If you are only focusing on what is wrong in your relationship, then you will never see all the good things you have going with one another. Okay, so maybe your partner forgets to put the lid on when he’s cooking burgers and grease splatters everywhere or maybe your partner always forgets to stop and grab milk on their way home from work when you ask them, but they are respectful and caring of you, right? Don’t focus all your energy on things your partner forgets to do, don’t focus so much on the wrong things that you don’t acknowledge all the good things your partner does for you.
You might not realize you’re doing these things, but it’s these things that will destroy your relationship. If you want to prevent your relationship from quickly heading downhill, put an end to these sabotaging behaviors and save your relationship today.
For more dating and relationship advice from our Cherry Hill matchmakers, be sure to connect with South Jersey Matchmakers on Facebook & Twitter!
