New Jersey Matchmakers | Signs You're Dating a Control Freak

By South Jersey Matchmakers
Home / Dating Advice / New Jersey Matchmakers | Signs You’re Dating a Control Freak

As the top New Jersey matchmakers, we know it’s every woman’s dream to be with a man who can protect her and make her feel safe.  But there’s nothing worse than dating a man who wants to be in control of everything in your life.  It is important to maintain your independence in your relationship.  If it feels like you’re losing your freedom, then the man you’re dating could be a control freak.

It is essential to have trust in your relationship, because you wouldn’t be able to have a healthy relationship without it.  You need to have your own time and space and be responsible for the things you do in life.  You can’t let your boyfriend be in control of your life.  If you discover that you’re dating a control freak, then you need to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss his behavior.  Today, our New Jersey matchmakers are going to show you the warning signs you’re dating a control freak.

looking for love in new jersey

1. He behaves like he is your boss.

Remember that you’re not your boyfriend’s employee, and he shouldn’t treat you like one.  You should never allow him to treat you this way.  When you’re in a relationship, you should be treated equally.  If it feels like he is giving you tasks to accomplish, then you need to let it be known that you’re not his employee.

Control freaks don’t always realize they’re being controlling.  Talk to your boyfriend and mention that you don’t like it when he treats you like he’s your boss.  You can make a lighthearted joke about it and say something like “Sorry, are we at work?” or “Yes, boss.”  He might actually be surprised by your comments and stop behaving the way he does.  As we said, sometimes people don’t even realizing they’re being controlling.

2.  He doesn’t like you to be ambitious.

You and your boyfriend don’t have to share the same goals and dreams, but that doesn’t mean he needs to destroy yours.  If your boyfriend is a control freak, he might be afraid of you pursuing your own dreams.  He might think that if you pursue your dreams, he’s going to lose you.

Ambitious women scare control freaks because an ambitious woman is a woman who is in control of her own mind and life.  He doesn’t want you to have dreams and goals of your own.  If you feel like your man is hindering your goals, then you need to talk to him about it.  As professional matchmakers, we know that your boyfriend should be your number one supporter and should always encourage you to pursue your goals and dreams in life.

3. He controls your finances.

It is essential as a couple to be in control of your finances.  However, you can’t let your boyfriend micro-manage every penny you spend.  If you have a serious problem with money or a shopping addiction, then that’s a different story, and it’s okay to have him help you through this so you don’t destroy your finances.  However, if you’re in control of your finances, then you are responsible, not him.

If your boyfriend checks up on your spending and controls you by not letting you buy the things you want, then he is a control freak.  Do not let him do this to you.

4. He controls what you wear.

It is important to have your own sense of style.  If your boyfriend makes you get rid of all your favorite items and takes you on a shopping spree, that’s a sign he’s a control freak.  If he wants you to do your hair a certain way, to wear specific clothes, or to apply makeup the way he likes it, then you might start to lose your own identity.

Women love dressing up for their man, especially on a special occasion, but you can’t forget who you are in the process.  Wear the clothes you like and feel comfortable in, not ones he is choosing for you.  Unless, of course, your man is a fashion guru who is in touch with the latest in style and you love his suggestions, then you should follow your own sense of style.

5. He controls your friendships.

It’s no secret that we lose touch with our friends when we enter a relationship.  But you’ll lose more friends if you are dating a control freak.  If you have a friend who is a bad influence on you, then your man might not want you to hang out with them.  However, if none of your friends are a bad influence and your boyfriend still doesn’t want you to hang out with them, then you are dating a control freak.

Here at South Jersey Matchmakers, we know it is healthy to spend time with friends and family members.  If your boyfriend doesn’t let you see them, then you need to have a serious conversation with him.  You don’t want to be in an unhealthy relationship where you’re prohibited from spending time with those you love.  You might not like your boyfriend’s friends, but that doesn’t mean you need to dictate who he hangs out with.  If you’re man is dictating who you’re allowed to see and who you’re not, then it’s time for you to put your foot down and decide for yourself who you want to hang out with.

6. He invades your privacy.

Getting in your cell phone and checking up on your emails and phone logs is a huge breech of privacy.  As the top New Jersey matchmakers, we know that a relationship needs to be based on trust.  However, control freaks don’t know what that is.  If you have not given your boyfriend a reason not to trust you, then he shouldn’t be going through your messages like that.  If there is no reason for him to behave this way, you need to have a serious conversation with him and explain that you don’t want him doing this.

Trust is an essential part of a healthy relationship, so if he doesn’t trust you, then your relationship isn’t going to work.  He is doing it because he wants to control you.  He wouldn’t be doing it otherwise.  If he doesn’t listen to you, then you need to reconsider this relationship.

Ladies, how many of these signs of a control freak do you see in your boyfriend?  If after talking to him he doesn’t change his controlling ways, then it’s time to break things off.

If you’re single and looking to meet quality men in New Jersey, fill out the private form at the top of this page to reserve your FREE 90 minute matchmaking consultation with the leading New Jersey matchmakers today!

Recommended Posts
Contact Us

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.