If you’re like many single women in NJ, you may be struggling to meet the right partners on your own. Our New Jersey expert matchmakers here at South Jersey Matchmakers know how it is to navigate the modern dating scene on your own, and we’re here to give you some insight into men and their confusing behaviors.
In the beginning he makes you feel like you struck gold. Not only is he good looking, funny, and charming, but he’s also a great person. Whether it’s planning exciting dates, spontaneous road trips, or cozy movie nights in, he knows exactly what to do to put a big smile on your face.
But everything suddenly changes. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and the honeymoon phase completely ends. Initially everything was great between the two of you, but now you’re noticing that he’s no longer the person he used to be. There is something missing and you just can’t figure out what it is.
Your daily text messages are now once a week, and those midday phone calls have gone extinct. Talking to him before was the highlight of your day and made you feel ecstatic, but now you rarely talk at all. Your commitment to each other during the early stages made you believe in love, but now you have no idea what’s going on.
You don’t understand where it went wrong or why he’s become this way. He is definitely closed off, but you don’t understand why. Dealing with the thought of this not being available for a relationship can be tough. If the man you’re dating exhibits any of the following signs, then it might be time for you to walk away before you waste your time and energy on something that isn’t going anywhere.
1. The plans you make always fall through.
You spend your day coming up with date ideas, the two of you agree to go, but when the day comes, he cancels last minute—or worse, he stands you up. It doesn’t matter if it’s to catch a movie or go to the new restaurant in town, he promises to go but doesn’t come through. If this is the case, then your man might be emotionally unavailable.
2. You call him, but you can never reach him.
If you cannot get in touch with him late, then he is clearly ghosting you. Back when the relationship first started, the two of you were glued to the phone—you even went over your minutes on your cell phone plan… But it didn’t matter because you loved him, and you thought he loved you too. Nowadays, every time you call, his voicemail picks up. It is rare for him to answer or call back.
3. You sense that he has commitment issues.
Over the course of the relationship you started to worry he might have commitment issues. He never introduced you to his friends and never brought you around his family. In other words, he might as well have had a tattoo on his forehead that said “I’m not ready for a relationship.”
If you’re currently seeing a man who doesn’t want to bring you into his world, and never introduces you to his friends and family, then our New Jersey expert matchmakers warn you not to ignore this big red flag. Men who are not emotionally ready for a relationship will not take it to the next step.
4. His life is about “me, myself, and I.”
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if he wants to be with you or if he just wants to date himself. He takes charge of planning dates 99.9% of the time, and while you thought this was great in the beginning, now you’re realizing he’s not taking you into consideration. While this guy might seem better than Mr. No Show, the reality is, this man is just dating himself.
He doesn’t take your opinion into consideration and never seems to compromise. Being in a serious relationship means learning to compromise, learning to give and take; a relationship is 50-50, not 99-1. Cut your losses and move on.
5. He doesn’t like labels.
He has no problem sleeping with you and telling you he wants to be with you, but when you mention making it official, he freezes and tells you he likes things the way they are now. You always things like, “What we have is perfect, why ruin it?” or “There is no need to rush what we have, let’s see where things go.”
This man is like a broken record because that’s all you ever hear from him. Weeks and months have gone by and he clearly doesn’t want to make things official. If you have grown used to all his excuses, then you know it’s never going to happen. So why waste your time sticking around with a man who is clearly not available for you? Our New Jersey expert matchmakers have plenty of relationship-minded men who would love to meet you.
6. He’s already told you he’s emotionally unavailable.
He told you from the get-go that he was emotionally unavailable, but you naturally assumed you could change him… And that’s where your problem began.
If a man tells you from the beginning that he is emotionally unavailable, believe him! No one would come out and forewarn you about their issues if they weren’t serious. What made you think you could change him?
He was already warning you that you were getting into trouble with him. But at the same time, he was putting all his cards on the table so nothing could come back later and kick him in the rear. As brutal as this sound, it was your fault for pursuing him.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known him, or how well you think you’re getting along, if he exhibits the red flags our New Jersey expert matchmakers mentioned above, you need to take a step back and realize he’s not worth it. You don’t deserve to get your heart broken in the end, so kick him to the curb before it’s too late. As much as it stings, there’s nothing you can do to change a man who is emotionally unavailable.
Don’t wait around hoping for this man to change, because you already know he’s not going to. Come on now, let our New Jersey expert matchmakers introduce you to men who are available for a relationship and ready to welcome love into their life. Contact us today for a FREE matchmaking consultation to get started!
