Every wonder why so many relationships come crashing down after only three or so years? New Jersey dating experts from South Jersey Matchmakers will shed some light on what causes this all too common problem in the dating world.
It’s true, you can never predict the future, and you can’t help who you enter a relationship with or how long it will last. Relationships are great, miserable, fun, fabulous, and sometimes, downright annoying. You can be with someone for a long time and end up living happily ever after, but you can also be with someone for a long time and find yourself stressed and looking for a way out.
Although everyone hopes to get into a relationship that lasts forever, our New Jersey dating experts know things don’t always end up that way. Many couples end up splitting after only a few years, and this usually happens when they hit the three year mark.
Why So Many Couples Break Up When They Hit the Three Year Mark
When you hit the three year mark in your relationship, there is often a feeling you can’t get rid of. What’s happening at this three year mark? And why does it create so many problems, causing a slew of couples to split?
1. Reality Sets In
Some people get engaged after a few months of dating, others wait a year; some people don’t live together unless they have tied the knot and some do. If you find yourself with someone and all the sudden end up single, it might be because reality set in.
Look at it this way: you probably spent the first year getting to know them, the second year getting a place together, and by the third year, you already lived together but found yourself not wanting to continue the relationship for one reason or another. Reality gave you an option and you decided to leave.
2. Boredom Sets In
Have you ever known a couple who was together for so long that it felt like they were together out of dependency and not because they were really in love with each other? Most of the time, these couples will end up breaking up.
Many couples end up breaking up because things are no longer exciting like they once were. When faced with continuing to live a life of boredom or cutting ties and exploring what else is out there, they choose the ladder.
3. Physical Attraction Isn’t There
It’s known that we judge each other by the way we look. If you started dating your man when you looked like a runway model and now you let yourself go, then he might have left the relationship because you did not portray yourself to be the best version of yourself like you once were.
Guys, if you used to take care of your body by going running every morning and hitting the weights after work with the guys, but now all you do is come home and drink beer while being plopped on the couch, your woman might have been turned off by your lack of enthusiasm for your health and fitness.
Think about all the couples you know who let themselves go after they got married (and how you told yourself you would never do that). Just imagine your partner being one of those people who let themselves go… Not attractive, right?
There isn’t anything sexy about having a partner who lets themselves go. The two of you should encourage each other to lead a healthy lifestyle. If you let yourself go, or maybe if they let themselves go, it could be a major contributor to the failure of your relationship together.
4. Infidelity Problems
This one is a given, and our New Jersey dating experts apologize in advance if it happened to you. You shouldn’t spend a month, a year, or even three with someone who cheated on you. Three years is a long time to spend with a person who is cheating. Many people out there want to try different flavors, even when they are in a relationship.
This often goes hand in hand with being bored, but sometimes people cheat because it’s very easy for them to do so.
5. Compatibility Problems
Yes, opposites do attract, but our New Jersey dating experts know they don’t usually last. You don’t have to be opposite to attract someone, and sometimes you might think you’re the perfect match only to find out down the road you’re not compatible at all. When you hit the three year mark, you probably start talking about children, marriage, and growing older.
If you have started having these conversations and your partner wants something different, whether it’s that you want to live in the suburbs and they want to live in the city, or you want to be a stay at home parent and they want to travel the world, chances are that the two of you are going to split up.
6. Balancing Work & Life
Being motivated and being career driven is great; it is great to have a passion for something in life. Think back to when the two of you started dating and how passionate you were for your partner. But as you continued on with the relationship, you began to get comfortable, pushing the passion to the backburner.
By the third year of being together you already know your partner loves you. And of course your partner will understand if you have to spend a few more hours at the office, and they will still love you even if you can only make it to date night once a month. But without you even noticing, the passion that once fueled the relationship has gone out the window, leaving you both distant and ready to move on.
Many conflicts arise at the three year mark. If you find yourself heading towards the three year mark in your relationship, look out for these common problems and try to fix them before you lose your relationship. If you know how to keep your relationship happy and healthy by being prepared and putting in the efforts, then you should have nothing to worry about.
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