Here at South Jersey Matchmakers, we know it can be tough navigating the New Jersey dating scene, and it can be even tougher cultivating a happy and healthy relationship. If you’ve recently met a wonderful man who is a single father, you must approach the situation differently than you would with any other man.
Dating a single father can be challenging. It can be a wonderful experience as long as you do it responsibly and take many things into consideration. The first thing you must understand is that this single dad isn’t a carefree bachelor. He needs to provide for his children, he has to be there for him when they need him, and he must always be responsible, all reasons why being a single dad isn’t easy.
On the other hand, a single dad can be one of the best people you can ever date. Why? Because he has a lot of good qualities, like the love he has for his children, commitment, and a lot of responsibilities. Today, our Cherry Hill dating experts here at South Jersey Matchmakers will review the new ground rules for dating a single father.
1. Ask Yourself a Question
Am I willing to be with a man who has children? Do I like children? Am I willing to enter into a relationship with children already involved? These are all very important questions because you cannot separate a man from his children. If you’re dating a man with children, then his children are bound to be in the picture, and you have to be accepting of that.
2. Don’t Get Too Serious With the Children Yet
One of the most important rules you need to follow when dating a single parent is not to get too involved with the children unless you’re both 100% sure about the relationship. First, you must know that it isn’t easy for the children to get used to dad’s new girlfriend. You also have to remember that if things don’t work out between you and him, the children will also pay up. Make sure only you get involved with them if the two of you are planning on being serious together or you have been dating for a long time.
3. Don’t Ignore Their Mother
Even if you don’t like the way they raise the children, try not to ignore their mother or badmouth her to her children. Be kind to her and don’t let your feelings interfere with your happiness or your relationship. Always acknowledge and be nice to her, especially in front of her children.
4. Check Your Neediness
Often times, the attention, time, and resources that a father devotes to his children might make a girlfriend jealous or resentful. Are you self-assured? Are you independent enough to accept that his children will be his number one priority? If you want to have a successful relationship, then you need to be.
5. Be Kind to the Children
Always be kind to his children. This is one of the most important steps you must take if one day you want to become their step-mother. Try to put his children first; however, don’t ignore your relationship. If you do this, one day you will endure the role of being their step-mother and the children will love you in return.
6. Figure out Your Boundaries
Singles parents are likely to have specific boundaries when it comes to their children, and this is to be expected. These boundaries can vary from time devoted to them, dietary and nutrition concerns, all the way to when guests are not accepted in the house. It will save everyone a lot of stress if these boundaries are discussed early on in order to avoid overstepping them.
7. Understand That He Will Talk to His Ex
We know this might be a hard pill to swallow, but you need to respect that your current boyfriend will be in constant communication with his ex. This is, in fact, due to the children they have together. You also need to understand that they will have a strong bond together, so the communication lines need to be open for the sake of the children. Try to avoid getting jealous or resentful if you see them talking together.
8. Carefully Observe
If you’re dating a single father and your relationship starts to progress to the point that you’re now seeing the children often, take notice to how he parents them. This might sound like you’re doing a covert operation, but if you find yourself uncomfortable or disapprove of these things, then you can talk them out with him early on.
9. Be Genuine
Kids can spot a fake smile from a thousand feet away. Sometimes, when new girlfriends meet the children, they try to make a good first impression and sometimes, it’s too hard, to the point that it’s uncomfortable for the children. The children will feel much more at ease if you are a genuine person in front of them. Be your true self; be kind, be sincere, be fun, be silly, be goofy, be whoever you are, and they’ll be sure to like you more.
10. You’re Dating the Whole Package
If you’re dating a single father, try to remember that you’re also dating the entire family. His kids will come first and you need to let go of being selfish. Try to enjoy the time you spend together and work on building your new family.
11. Listen
Be a good listener and always be there to support him whenever he needs you to be there for him. Support him with child concerns, fights with his ex, or anything he might need help with. Remember that being a father is a very overwhelming job. By being supportive you show him that you really care about him, his children, and your future together.
12. Enjoy the Process
Once you have managed to go through some of the difficult obstacles that come along with dating a single father, then you can relax and enjoy the experience. Children can add a lot of gratification and joy to your new relationship. Kids can be a lot of fun, so show them that you really love them and that they can trust you with anything and you will be their new best friend.
Dating a single father can definitely be challenging, but it can be a lot of fun if you do it right. Let’s hope that with our Cherry Hill dating experts’ advice your new adventure of dating a single dad goes smoothly.
For more dating and relationship tips from our matchmaking team here at South Jersey Matchmakers, be sure to connect with us on Facebook and Twitter.
